I am

I feel really disgusted with myself. I realize that I just hang out with certain girls because they have a pretty face. And with that lust on my mind it's so hard to develop a deep, meaningful and platonic relationship while I'm holding on to these ulterior motives.


I feel so cut off from people sometimes...


I feel so fake.


I dress to impress. I act to please. I am egotistical. I, I, I.


I want to love girls for who they are, not what they look like. And I know I'm not there yet. The evil of this earth has shown me its definition of beautiful and its words are seductive and charismatic. But I know that God has made me better and smarter than that. This needs time. This needs trust.

Please pray for me.


ashamed.