Should be Sleeping

It's almost midnight and Emma will be here in about 5 hours to pick me up so that we can head to Davis! I am so excited! Why am I blogging right now? Goodnight!

Panorama, Websites, Trialogue

Okay, so I'm not too sure how to make this picture larger without it being pixelated... I'm not too too tech-savvy. But this picture is a panorama of La Jolla, from the top of Mt. Soledad! I went there recently with my friend Emma, and it was quite refreshing! The burritos from El Azteca were a nice touch. Click the picture to see it in full size! Trust me, it looks much better. Actually, that's just an opinion. Like, you know, you could totally just enjoy it from here in its smaller form if that's what you're into. You know, what do I know, right? Maybe you're into minimalism or something. There I go assuming things about the people who read these things! I'm not trying to tell you what to do or whatever. I'm just saying...

But really, please click the picture.

Also, some great new websites I stumbled upon...

indiepassion.blogspot.com - a blog about all things indie music. great resource for those looking for some new auditory musings within the indie genre.

blogotheque.net - cool French website about bands that they get to come to play in the streets of France.

truckspills.com - interesting things that have fallen from the back of trucks such as whale intestines... what?

Yeah. Whale intestines.

How does that happen?

Dude, you just gotta check that website to find out. But I will tell you that the story and pictures are ridiculous!

Cool beans. I feel like you use the word 'ridiculous' too much. It's taking away from the meaning of the word.

Well, what would you have me do, Alfred?

Endure. (Dark Knight reference anyone?)

Alright, thanks for the random convo at the end, Gerald. Why do you always have to... *sigh* Whatever, man.

Performance Jury

So my music performance jury is coming up this October. I don't know if I'll be ready. I've practiced a lot, but I feel like sometimes I've taken steps backward. Maybe they're just the off days that every musician has now and then and I'm just letting those get me down. But I feel like I should have improved so much more than I have by now. It makes me really sad. I am really worried that I won't pass this jury...

Wasting Time.

I miss

I miss

I miss

I wait

I wait

I wait

But time does not.

Past is past

Future, future

Time, just time

And the present is gone.

I want to be in places when where it is impossible to be.

Well, there may not be rhyme, but there is reason. I don't know jack squat about writing. Just dilly-dallying.

Writing wastes time. But it's something for the meantime.

Current State of Affairs

Sometimes
I wish I was brave
I wish I was stronger
I wish I could feel no pain
I wish I was young
I wish I was shy
I wish I was honest
I wish I was you not I

'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

Sometimes
I wish I was smart
I wish I made cures for
How people are
I wish I had power
I wish I could lead
I wish I could change the world
For you and me

'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

S*** That Doesn't Matter? You Know What I Mean? Probably not.

I was thinking earlier tonight, "What kind of guy am I?" Am I shy? Extroverted? Happy? Jealous? Patient? Easily angered? Funny? Rude? Self-righteous? Humble? Well, maybe I am all of those things. Maybe it depends on the situation. The when and where. The who and what.

I was driving my friend home after a party and he was talking about relationships, and specifically about a friend that we knew and his past relationships. That got me thinking about my relationships. Since I haven't had very many, it's hard for rme to imagine the girl that I would be with. Maybe I'm not supposed to be with anyone? Maybe I'm one of those people whom you just can't picture being with anyone. Or maybe I'm just thinking too much.

I feel like I'm a nice enough guy. I really enjoy making people laugh, which I would say is a plus. I like having conversations with people, also a plus. I mean, I may not be the People magazine's sexiest man alive, but eh. But sometimes when something might happen with someone, my personality changes. Maybe not totally, but there's definitely a difference. Shyness kicks in, jealousy, sadness, awkwardness (not the good funny kind that I have become fairly adept at), the whole gang comes and changes me. I wish there was a girl that i could just be myself around. I mean, I can be myself around tons of girls, but I wish that there was a girl that I liked, who liked me back that I could just be myself around.

I wish I could articulate my thoughts better. But I also wish that I could actually talk to a friend about this in person. But the problem with having a friend to talk to about stuff like this is, I can't explain what I'm thinking very well because I don't have the time to think about it. It just comes out as I speak. Why are some things so terribly indescribable? It is really awful sometimes. Actually, for me, it is probably awful almost all of the time. I just want to be able to find the words to convey the exact feelings inside me. They want to be let out and understood, and this blog does not do them justice. why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why............... I wish someone would really understand and say, "I know exactly what you mean and what you're feeling. I've been there too." There I go blabbering again about s*** that doesn't matter.

I don't have the patience to edit this entry right now. GAH. Crappy night. Well, crappy ending to a night.

TIGHTLE.

HEY!

Oh okay, so I thought that I would just do a short post. Um. Oh! Okay, also, I've always wanted to do a video blog on youtube. But I don't think that would turn out so well. Plus, I feel like it would take up a lot of time... yessssssssss.

btw, does anyone read this? bee tee dub.

GERALD, SIGNING OUT!

Well, not really signing out yet because I have to kind of proof read this thing real quick. Oh, and I haven't given it a title yet. So I'll do those things, and then see how it looks in the actual finalized version. And if there's anything wrong there, then, you know... just repeat as necessary.

Lather, rinse, and repeat if desired.

Then! I'll literally sign out of bloggerrrrr. QUESTION! (EXCLAMATION?) Why doesn't it say "http://blablabla.BLOGGER.com/" instead of "http://wtf.BLOGSPOT.com/."

Just a thought.